"Being alive is bad for you" scientists warned today...

Don't eat this, don't breathe that, don't go there.. scientists are forever warning us about the dangers of simply existing. "Oh you mustn't blink" they say, "tests in Copenhagen have shown that blinking is dangerous. You'll wear out your eyelids and your eye sockets will turn to jam." Or waking up in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom. "You mustn't do that", warn a group of scientists, "tests have shown that you'll wear out your feet prematurely. Feet need uninterrupted sleep." They also warn, for once quite sensibly, that peeing in the bed whilst your feet are asleep is both unhygenic and, if you and your partner sleep together, extremely anti-social. Unfortunately, because all these scientific warnings appear in the newspapers, they must be true. If, right now, you "Google" feetmustsleep@nuttyscientist.com, I guarantee you'll find hundreds of websites dealing with every aspect of snoozing, snoring tootsies: from curing feet with insomnia to downloadable i-lullabys for toes, heels and soles suffering sleep deprivation...also quite probably, the name of a Canadian rock band from Calgary.
You then realise that for every Scientist's grim warning, some corporate bank account is swelling ever larger from each nurtured public panic. So, what would your scientific warning be? Answers please to the editorial departments of the world's popular press. Let's get everyone neurotic about installing cat flaps...